wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize