You just made me feel so damn special
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
