Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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