If i come over, it means nothing
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
