Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
