Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
