This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
