My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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