You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Mom said you looked used
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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