im so drunk with asians
where?
always
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
