I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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