There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
