I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just want nice things and good sex
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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