my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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