It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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