this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
