Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
