It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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