It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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