Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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