Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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