It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
