i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
