it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
