Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
