she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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