your room smells of hookers.
And success
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
