But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
