so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
