smell my finger.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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