just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
