Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
