its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
