It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize