It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
