I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
