you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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