if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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