Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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