Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize