i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
