bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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