Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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