i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
