fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
