it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
