he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
