Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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