I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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