Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
