im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do vagina's smell?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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