I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
