Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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