Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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