how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
