I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
