bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i dont even know how to be here
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
