Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
