Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
